Pro-prom propaganda: nice young people having fun on their way to prom. It's all lies! Lies!!

At some point during the course of human history, a cruel trickster decided to spread the rumor that the annual spring dance known as “prom” was something fun, something to look forward to. This dangerous myth has been perpetuated ever since, filling the minds of teenagers with dreams doomed to be crushed by this harsh but undeniable reality: prom is terrible. Is this just my opinion? Did I have a traumatic experience that turned me against prom forever? Do I hate prom because I’m some sort of naysaying grumpy hermit who can’t stand fun, or one of those creepy parents from Footloose for whom dancing is an unforgivable sin? The answer to all of the above is no. It is not just my opinion; in fact, science has proven that prom is one of the top ten worst things a human being can experience. I swear no Carrie-style disasters befell my prom – although that surely would have made it more interesting – and I’m neither a grumpy hermit nor a defamer of dancing. I have no reason to dislike prom other than the inherent dislikability of the event; my opinion is based on pure, objective fact. Well, fact and a little bit of anecdotal evidence – what skeptics might call “hearsay” – but let’s not split hairs.

FACT 1: Prom food is bad food. 

At my prom, they served chicken wings. Sticky, messy, BBQ-sauce-dripping chicken wings, of the sort one eats with one’s fingers at sports bar or bowling alley. There were also celery sticks and crackers, if I remember correctly, which the girls nibbled at while resentfully watching their dates eat chicken wings. To this day the logic of serving chicken wings at prom eludes me entirely, since t the theme of my prom was neither “Down Home Barbecue” nor “Superbowl Sunday.” My suspicion is that it may have been a mean-spirited prank at the expense of all female prom attendees, because what girl is going to gnaw away at a bit of gooey meat while wearing a pricy, often pastel dress in which she hopes to look sophisticated and glamorous? Not one, which is why there were so many frowning girls and so many BBQ-sauce stained tuxedos in the Clarion Hotel event hall that evening.

FACT 2: Prom dresses are expensive, and ugly. 

See my previous blog entry for examples of just how ugly prom dresses can get. And all of those dresses were priced at well over the -$1.50 a sane human would pay for them! Want to know something scary? The average cost of a prom dress is around $250, and the average amount spent on prom in total is a whopping $1,078 (according to USA Today). My entire wardrobe (not including shoes) probably cost me about $250, and just imagine what you could do with $1,078! You could go to Disney World, or put a down payment on a car, or fill your cupboards with all the Fancy Feast your cat could eat…the stuff of fantasy.

FACT 3: Sometimes proms take place on boats. 

If there was one way to make the already dreadful hazing ritual we call prom worse, it would be to hold it on a boat. And because prom organizers are wicked beyond measure, boat proms are not an uncommon phenomena these days. Seasickness +  the only route of escape being a chilly swim back to shore = absolutely zero fun. My close friend suffered a boat prom and he still hasn’t fully recovered. Sometimes he gets a bit quaky and pale, and that’s how I know he’s having a prom flashback. It’s truly a sad sight to see.

FACT 4: Good music has never been played at a prom. 

However, “Cotton-Eyed Joe,” “The Macarena,” “The Electric Slide,” and “The Chicken Dance Song” are sure to make an appearance.

FACT 5: Sometimes your mom is a chaperone at prom.

My mom was a chaperone at my prom, despite my begging her for weeks to spare me that particular embarrassment. It was clear to me then that my mother was in on the whole “Prom as Punishment” conspiracy, and to this day I still find it difficult to view her as a wholly benevolent personage. Sometimes I worry she’s going to whip out a corsage and yell across the room, “RORY! WANT ME TO GET YOU A CHICKEN WING?”, in order to relive that fateful night we spent together as chaperone and chaperonee at the Ithaca High School Senior Prom ’07.

Hopefully I have dissuaded you from attending your prom, thereby saving you from a night of unpleasantness and the cost of the years of therapy you will likely need in order to recover from it. Perhaps not. For those of you still determined to go to prom, I hope you have a great time–but I know you won’t.

Just kidding. I have my fingers crossed for you, darlings!

With Love,

Aurora C., editor & leader of the Anti-Prom Coalition

1. A Pouf of Dangerous Proportions 

I have nothing against a full skirt, and pink is one of my favorite colors, so my issue with this dress is not its obvious overblown bubblegum princess Disney World vibes. Disney I can deal with. No, my issue is that when I look at this what I see is an enormous bath loofah devouring that poor girl’s body. Ever seen The Blob? It’s about an amorphous glob of goo that goes around eating everyone in order to become larger and larger and larger…

Well, this is the dress version of that. It will eat you, it will eat your friends; it will eat your date. Do you really want to end up a snack for an overgrown loofah?

2. Rodeo Clown

Whereas the last dress had an overabundance of skirt, this specimen has an alarming lack of one. Of course, “skirt deficit”  is only a minor problem in comparison to the hokey leather bosom harness and the indecipherable snakeskin-cum-desert-foliage print of the fabric. Oi, and that ruched bodice! Back to the skirt issue, though: what skirt this dress does have is half-hidden beneath a flaccid sack. For what esoteric reason did they include this sack? It could not have been for purposes of attractive design, because there is no figure that would be flattered by such extraneous pouching. Maybe the silhouette is supposed to evoke that famous cowgirl accessory, the saddle bag. How many cans of baked beans do you think you can store in there?

3. Black and White and Bad All Over

Black and white is a classic, timeless, and usually unimpeachable color combination. Leave it to a prom dress to mutate it into something absolutely abominable! This dress is like one of mythological monsters made up of three different creatures, with none of the elements making any sense at all together. In the case of this dress, it seems to be made up of, from top to bottom: A) one of Vanna White’s Jeopardy gowns, B) my mom’s tablecloth, and C) a can-can dancer’s costume. The overall effect causes some serious, head-spinning, Hitchcock-style vertigo.

4. “This Dress May Cause Hallucinations”

Honestly I think you’d have to be hallucinating to begin with in order to purchase this psychedelic nightmare, but maybe I’m biased because I don’t like ugly things. In any case, if you weren’t already out of your mind, all you’d have to do would be to stare into the warped zebra-spiral print lining of the skirt for ten seconds and, POOF, you’d be down the formalwear rabbit hole. With your newly altered mindset, perhaps you could explain to me the appeal of having a bulbous “flower” pinned to your hip and shards of mirror pasted to your chest.

5. Cruelty to Animals

Year after year fashion magazines advocate for the revival of animal prints – leopard, zebra, cheetah, tiger – but I very much doubt this is what they wanted. In fact, I’ll bet that if they saw this feline-defaming disgrace, they’d commit seppuku for having been involved in its conception. Leopards everywhere are likely deeply ashamed of themselves, too. Someone call PETA, because this dress is an incontrovertible example of animal abuse.

6. Blue Jean Brutality 

Lots of people enjoy wearing blue jeans. While I am not one of them, I can understand why people like jeans: they’re (ostensibly) comfortable, they go with everything, and you don’t have to wash them very much. However, I cannot comprehend why someone could love jeans so much that she’d want her prom dress to be made out them. Such a passion for denim indicates, to me, a pathological obsession that merits at least a few appointments with a mental health professional. Besides being made of denim, though, this dress isn’t so bad. LOL I’m lying; it’s hideous. Look at the pockets on the scalloping at the bottom of the skirt! AHH! Look at that dumb “Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely Heart’s Club Band”-style bolero jacket! EGH! And the patchwork corset! YIKES!

8. “You cannot go out in that, young lady!”

It’s great when girls are proud of their bodies, but this might be taking that confidence a bit far. The exposed midriff on its own would be one thing, but in combination with the cleavage-spilling top and “up-to-there” slit in the skirt, the ensemble is flirting hard with exotic dancer territory. My mom would never let me leave the house in this, not even now that I’m an adult, and probably not even if I actually were an exotic dancer.

9. The World’s Ugliest Dress of All Time, Ever

Is there anything more to say about this dress? Certainly I cannot be the one to say it, because I can feel myself going into brown-stretch-polyester-ugliness-induced convulsions as I type. This dress is literally killing me!!!! SOMEONE, ANYONE, HELP! AGH – ACK – BLUH – UGHHHHHHHH…

[I am writing this now from beyond the grave. There will not be a tenth ugly dress entry, because there cannot be a dress uglier than the one pictured above. It is simply not possible.]

With Love, 

Aurora C., editor and one of many innocent victims of deadly prom dress assault

She’s done it again: our resident video genius, Allie O’ Brien, has crafted another gem to go along with our upcoming NtRW Graduation Edition. In the video, you’ll see recent college grads sharing their stories about dorm life, academics, student loans, and choosing a major. Plus Maine economists offer advice on how you can make smart choices in college to best prepare yourself for a successful adult life and career.

Check it out now!

Look at these nice college kids and these nice spring flowers. Isn't that just lovely?

In my mind, Easter – with its baby bunnies, painted eggs ready to hatch fluffy chicks, and pastel-foiled chocolates – symbolizes the true beginning of the spring season. When I eat a jellybean, I can actually feel flowers blooming in my mouth. By the way, if you’re looking to get me a gift this Easter, Starburst’s tropical-flavored jellybeans are my favorite. Just in case you were thinking about it. No pressure! What was I talking about? Oh yes, spring! Spring is the season for new beginnings, so it only makes sense that it is traditionally the time when high school juniors soon to be seniors embark on an integral early of the college journey: the “campus visit” tour. Juniors, you’ve got a fun couple of months coming up. Get ready to hop into the backseat for endless hours in the car with your parents, driving from one school to the next, reading an infinite number of informational pamphlets, and watching a series of highly coordinated tour guides perform the incredible feat of walking backwards for longer than 5 minutes without falling down. How do they do it?!?

The thing about college visits is that, if you go on enough, one college begins to blend into another and you end up having no idea where you’ve been, what you saw, and what you liked. Well, that’s what can happen if you don’t go about things properly. Fortunately, there are some simple things you can do to make the most of your visits and avoid falling victim to  ”Campus Tour Fatigue Syndrome”…

Before you go on a visit, take a few hours to do a bit of sleuthing into the school you’ll be visiting. Read as much as you can about the school online, in those nifty college guidebooks (the U.S. News’ Best Colleges Guide is a good place to start!), and in any brochures or pamphlets the school may have sent you in the mail. By doing your own research, you’ll have an idea of the questions you want to ask your tour guide during the visit. Don’t forget to write down any questions you think of!

Bring along a notebook and camera on every visit. That way you can take notes on the things you like and don’t like about the school, and take pictures of the campuses. Later, if you’re feeling crafty, you can even make a “scrapbook” of the schools you visited to flip through when you’re deciding where to apply and where to go.

Ask as many questions as you can think of. Campus tour guides have a script they’re supposed to stick to, so it’s almost guaranteed they won’t address every issue that’s important or of interest to you. That’s why you’ve got to ask questions! If you just follow along silently like a little goat, you’re letting a critical opportunity to learn about the college slip through your fingers.

Example questions to ask include:

-When do I have to declare my major?

-What’s the average class size?

-What is the course registration process like? Is it difficult to get into the classes you want to take?

-What resources are available to students seeking academic help?

-Are there internship programs offered through the school?

-What is the transfer rate?

Obviously, there are a million more questions you might ask, depending on what’s important to you and your family.

Take some time after the tour to explore the campus on your own. The tour guide is going to show you the school’s selling points, but those pretty buildings and that nice new dining hall might not tell you the whole story about the school. Poking around on your own is the best way to see the full picture and form your own impression of the campus. Make sure to visit student hot spots like the campus center or coffee shop to get an idea of what students are like and if you’ll be able to feel comfortable in that atmosphere. If you’re not shy, try talking to a real, live student not employed by admissions to see what dirt s/he has to dish up. If possible, check out a dorm room or eat at the dining hall, as those are important aspects of college life that are not always addressed in the official tour. Maybe even schedule to sit in on a class if the school allows it!

After the tour, write down your impressions of the campus while they’re still fresh in your brain. If you don’t write them down, chances are you’ll forget them, and then it’s like the tour never happened and all your suffering was for nothing. Maybe you want to make a list of the pros and cons of each campus, or maybe you just want to jot down some notes. Either way, you’ll be creating a record of your college visits that you can consult when it comes time to choose where you want to go.

Remember: college visits are the best way to get a “feel” for a school. They offer an invaluable chance to get a glimpse into what your future might be like if you went to that particular school, so don’t let that opportunity go to waste! Try to soak in all you can during your college visits so you’ll be able to choose the school that is the best match for your personality and your interests. Plus, college visits can be fun! You get to travel around, see new places, stay in hotels, and eat fast food in the car with your parents: a dream come true. Stay positive, kids!

With Love,

Aurora C., editor & jellybean freak

Check out this incredibly slick and informative video our work-study assistant, Allie O’Brien, created for us using clips from the massive NtRW archive. Great job, Allie! The video covers four big money-related mistakes young people make in college: 1) getting into trouble with credit cards, 2) racking up a ton of student debt, 3) partying too hard, and 4) not thinking about the future when choosing a major. Watch and learn, people!

Are you as excited about your snow day as this little dog? You should be!

This winter hasn’t exactly been stellar for snowfall – I haven’t even had a chance to go sledding yet! Ack! – but now that spring is right around the corner, we’ve finally got ourselves a proper storm. The roads are nasty, every school around is cancelled, and the snow shows no sign of letting up–totally awesome, right? For those of you who, like me, are enjoying a snowed-in day at home, here are a few things to do to make the most of the mini-vacation gifted to you by the blizzard overlords.

1. Catch up on your reading. Isn’t there some book you’ve been dying to read but have been too busy with schoolwork to dig in to? Well, now’s your chance! Plus, there is absolutely nothing better than lounging on the sofa with a novel and a big mug of hot chocolate (with extra marshmallows, duh) while the snow billows and blows about outside. It’s a perfect experience.

2. Build the most amazing & incredible snow fort anyone has ever seen. Time to break out those architecture books because I expect big things from you. I’d like to see a snow fort replica of the Chrysler building or maybe the temple at Angkor Wat, please. Better get started….

3. Take a nap. Staying up late finishing homework or watching TV night after night have you feeling rundown? Why not use your free day away from school or work to catch up on your beauty sleep? Maybe you can even convince someone to sing you a lullaby (your little sister? your cat?).

4. Bake something delicious. Cold day + warm oven = magic. Also magic: eating way too many cookies and then feeling a little sick but 100% content with life.

5. Shovel the driveway. I know it sounds like a chore, but shoveling is actually a great way to get some exercise and time outside if you feel too old for romping around making snow angels and so forth. Personally I believe you are never too old to make snow angels, but that’s just one girl’s opinion. Anyway, shoveling the driveway will also come in handy as a way to burn off a few of those cookie & hot chocolate calories you’ve been packing in all day!

Enjoy the snow, darlings!

With Love, 

Aurora C., editor & snow angel extraordinaire

P.S. Click here for pictures of snow forts from all over the world! Some of them are pretty spectacular.

The reasoning for this photo? A) I'm obsessed with gummy bears, and B) that little clear bear dares to be different! You go, bear.

Over the past few weeks, I’ve been sifting through our video archive – boy, is it huge! almost 3,000 interview clips; can you believe it? – and in the process I’ve noticed one piece of advice keeps coming up again and again when people are asked to share their wisdom with younger generations: “be yourself.” If you’re true to yourself and do what makes you happy and feels right for you, everything will work out in the end just like magic. That sounds great, right? Unfortunately, “being yourself” is one of those things that falls squarely into the “easier said than done” category. It’s a message we hear all the time and we understand that, yes, of course it would be awesome to be ourselves, but what if you’re not even sure who “yourself” really is? Uh-oh!

When I was in middle school, I was desperate for everyone to like me. I believe I spent most of eighth grade on the carpet in the fetal position pleading for acceptance from my peers, only abandoning my groveling to eat the occasional pudding cup at lunchtime. Needless to say, I was not that cool. Despite my efforts to buy the “right” sneakers (Skechers, at the time–does that make me seem extremely old?), watch the “right” movies, have the “right” friends and always, always say the “right” thing, I was still solidly a weirdo. No matter what I did, I never quite fit in with any of the popular groups. I didn’t want to believe it, but my own weirdness was inescapable. At the time, I was unable to see that I possessed my own unique “self”, and that to be that “self” was actually valid and valuable. When people told me I was “unique,” I equated it with being told I had leprosy. I saw my weirdness as a flaw and a hindrance, something keeping me down. I wanted so badly to be something different from what I was that I couldn’t even fathom that the person I was “naturally” could be worth anything. I see a lot of young struggling with this today, and all I can say is: “I SURE AM GLAD I’M OVER THAT!” Except of course I’m not entirely, because learning to accept yourself and be true to yourself is a lifelong process. Maybe you can tell that I’ve been reflecting on this quite a bit lately, but my soul-searching turns out to be in your benefit, because I’ve thought up a few suggestions for how to ease into “being yourself.” For my beloved readers just beginning to unfurl your freak flags in preparation to let them fly, this is for you….

1.  Realize that you have something special to offer the world. You are the only “you” out there, with your own unique stories, opinions, and talents. Whether you like it or not, you’re an individual! Rather than fight it, why not embrace it? It’s incredible when you think about it: You’re absolutely the only person on this earth right now who can be you and give the world that special something you have to offer. Whether it’s a piece of art you’ve made, an original idea for building a Mountain Dew-powered motor-scooter, or a new formula for squirrel shampoo,  it’s up to you to get it out there and into the world, because no one else can do it like you can. Once you understand that you’re amazing and capable of extraordinarily “you” things, you can move on to step #2….

2. Don’t worry so much about pleasing other people! It may surprise you to learn that although your friends and parents  and people on TV may have a lot of opinions about what you should do with your life, you’re the only one living that life and therefore the only one who has any right to decide how it should be lived. It’s nice to make other people happy, but it’s impossible to do so all the time and you absolutely can’t let other people’s happiness take precedence over your own. Be confident in yourself and your ability to steer your own ship, so to speak. That said, don’t hesitate to ask others for advice when you need it! To bring in another nautical idiom, “no man is an island.”

3. Set goals for yourself and stick to them. Even if you’re not totally sure who you are, if you sat down for a few hours you could probably come up with a list of things you want out of life, right? An example: “I would like a pony.” Clearly this is not the most profound or lofty of life goals, but it will do for a start. So, what do you need to do to accomplish your goal of having a pony? Start thinking about it and then, once you’ve got your pony-procurement plan, don’t let anyone or anything get in your way. Repeat to yourself, “I WILL HAVE THAT PONY; IT IS MY DESTINY. I AM UNSTOPPABLE.” Having clear goals, ambitions and dreams and pursuing them with passion and determination is a critical part of “being true to yourself.” Don’t be afraid to go after what you want!

Obviously the process of “becoming yourself” is different for everyone, but it seems to me that these three guidelines should apply more or less across the board. Just remember: I think you’re special. I really do! You deserve to be yourself, and don’t let anyone tell you any differently. If they do, give me a call and I’ll track ‘em down and give them a good talking-to….

With Love, 

Aurora C., editor &  her own weird//wacky self, thank-you-very-much!

P.S. Check out this kid on Toddlers & Tiaras! I adore her. She is 100% her own baby, and absolutely perfect. In other news, Toddlers & Tiaras has always been and will always be my #1 favorite show on TV.

“Alana,” a.k.a. the coolest kid ever!

Everyone has his or her own unique perspective, experiences, and stories to tell. We want to hear yours! What have you learned that other teens should know? What piece of advice do you have that the world needs to hear? Now you have the chance to share your story with teens like you by using our new “Share Your Story!” feature at ntrw.org/share-your-story. 

We want you to fill us in on:

…a mistake you made in middle or high school

…the challenges you’ve faced

…the good and bad choices you’ve made 

…what you wish you’d been told 

…the bad advice you’ve received

…what you would do differently 

…the lessons you’ve learned about school, friends, relationships, whatever!

Your stories can be serious or funny—anything you’ve got, we want it. You don’t have to be a novelist to tell a good story, so don’t be nervous! You can post in video or in text at ntrw.org/share-your-story. Who knows, you might really help someone by sharing your experiences!

Not convinced yet? Well, what if I said there was the possibility of FREE PIZZA if you submit a story? Do I have your attention now? Everyone loves pizza: you love pizza, I love pizza; my cat loves pizza. I only know one person in the world who doesn’t go absolutely nuts over pizza, and she’s kind of weird anyway. If you’re a normal, pizza-loving person and would like the chance to win a pizza party for ten people, go to ntrw.org/share-your-story right this instant (or whenever, actually). If we think your story is the best, you’ll be swimming in so much free pizza you won’t even know what to do with yourself! You’ll be just like this really happy pizza cat:

So, what are you waiting for? Share your story now!

Surprisingly, pillow fighting is not the #1 therapist-recommended conflict mediation strategy.

In our upcoming edition (#8! it’s coming for you—get excited!), NtRW interview victims Ashlee and Luke talk about their experiences dealing with difficult roommates. I wasn’t exactly BFFs with my roommate when I was in college either, so I know how tough it can be to live with someone whose every action seems designed to aggravate you. My roommate was the worst: she brought strangers into the room at bizarre hours (i.e. 3 am), took my clothes without asking, left peanut butter jars to roll around on the floor beside her bed, and played loud music when I was up late working on papers. I’m not saying I was a perfect roommate by any means, but I tried to respect her space and be as considerate as possible, two things she made no effort to do. The tension built and built and by the end of our two years living together, we weren’t speaking. I came to think of her as somewhat of an archnemesis—she was my Lex Luthor, my Green Goblin, my Catwoman (without the snazzy bodysuit). To help you avoid similar misery, I’ve come up with a few guidelines for maintaining good relations with your roommate…

1. Set boundaries. Lay down ground rules from the very beginning to avoid future conflict. If you don’t want your roommate rifling through your desk to find a pen or borrowing your toothbrush, let him know from the start. Limits are good, so don’t be afraid to set them. That said, building a fence down the center of the room is probably a bit extreme.
2.  Be flexible. Chances are your roommate won’t have exactly the same habits or schedule as you do, so be prepared to make compromises. Being bullheaded about bed time, study time, noise issues, etc. will only serve to push you and your roommate further and further apart. To bridge the gap rather than broaden it, it’s best to accept that there will be differences and go about finding solutions with a spirit of cooperation and goodwill.
3. Communicate. Instead of stewing in resentment, talk to your roommate about what’s bothering you. Don’t assume s/he can read your mind (unless you’re at a college for psychics, in which case I’m totally jealous). A lot of blow-out, knockdown & drag-out fights stem from simple misunderstandings, so it’s best to address any problems outright while they’re still small and manageable.
4.  Be friendly. There’s no rule that says you have to be friends with your roommate, but being friendly is a good way to keep things pleasant. At the very least, don’t glare at her when she comes into the room. Ignoring your roommate is a mistake, too, so say hi, chat about classes, be nice. It’s really not that hard to be moderately sociable.

You may not love the total stranger chosen by the mysterious roommate-matching overlords to share your inevitably teeny-tiny dorm room with you, but I hope these tips will help you survive your time together with only minimal physical//emotional trauma. And remember: if it gets really unbearable and you just can’t take the person any more, you can always seek outside intervention. Track down your dorm’s resident advisor so that s/he can help you figure out the situation and even find an alternative housing arrangement, if necessary.

With Love, 

Aurora C., editor & only mildly obnoxious roommate

P.S. If you want to read some truly terrifying stories from people about their worst roommate experiences, check out myveryworstroommate.com. Don’t let it scare you too much, though—some roommates are perfectly nice and normal people!

Sporty snuggies, for athletic snoozing...

Pajama Panic! Pajama-palooza! Pajama pandemonium! Pajama…predicament? I’m all out of alliterative exclamations, it seems, so let’s get to the point here: teenagers have taken to wearing their PJs to school, and this trend will inevitably bring about the utter ruination of America. Or so says one Michael Williams, a commissioner in Caddo Parish, Louisiana, who is trying to pass a ban on wearing pajamas in public. ”The moral fibre in America is dwindling away. It’s pajamas today; what is it going to be tomorrow? Walking around in your underwear?” asks Williams in an article about the “pajama problem” published in today’s Wall Street Journal. Now, I think Mr. Williams may be overreacting just a teensy bit here, but I admit that I’m off-put by the concept of pajamas as a fashion trend.

When I was in high school, we celebrated “Pajama Day” during spirit week by heading to school in our flannel pants and oversized sweatshirts, but that was once, maybe twice a year. And sure, sometimes my peers would show up for class in sweatpants, but for the most part people wore proper clothes. Not cool or even mildly attractive clothes, mind you – Ugg boots and crocs were big in my day, and both are embarrassingly hideous – but I don’t have such high standards; jeans and a t-shirt will do just fine. Now it seems that all basic rules for what distinguishes school attire from at-home-snoozing-on-the-sofa attire have broken down in favor of 24-7 comfort, as the Wall Street Journal reports that the hottest trend for today’s teens is wearing pajamas, $70 Abercrombie & Fitch sweatpants, and flip flops to school. First off, $70 sweatpants? Ack! Why would you spend $70 to look like you’ve given up dressing yourself? Sorry, but “I’m lazy” is not a fashion statement I can get behind.

Secondly, I don’t think clothes chosen to maximize your ability to fall asleep at the drop of the hat are the most appropriate for school, where you’re supposed to be alert and active and ready to absorb new information. This may be because I’m painfully elderly & out of touch, since I share my opinion with David Beriau, a full-fledged adult and the dean of students at Bennington, Vermont’s Mount Anthony Union High School, who says:

     “If you come to school like you’re going to go to bed, it says a lot about your lack of     motivation. It creates an atmosphere where people feel like, ‘The next thing I’m going to do is slouch. And why not nod off?’ “

To try to curb student somnolence, Beriau has banned pajama bottoms and slippers in his school. Other schools, such as those in Florida’s Broward County, have taken similar action against the pajama plague threatening to stupefy the student body. Dress codes annoy me on principle because I don’t like to see one’s right to express oneself limited, and fashion is a terrific way to express one’s aesthetic vision and personal perspective. But what if what you want to express about yourself is, “Too sleepy to care” or merely a wordless, emphatic yawn? I’m torn on this issue. Truth be told,  I would probably support such a pajama-ban at my high school, simply because it would mean not having to look at sweatpants and PJs all day long.

Then again, I would very much like  to witness an era when everyone wears Snuggies everywhere they go, and perhaps this pajama-craze is the first step towards that wonderful, terrible dystopic future. Can’t you just picture it? Shoppers wandering the grocery store in fleecy blue robes like weird siesta monks. Surgeons performing appendectomies in Snuggie scrubs. Snuggie wedding dresses made of snow white glitter fleece, Snuggie tuxedos, Snuggie basketball uniforms…

It’s a beautiful thing. And a terrifying one.

With Love, 

Aurora C., editor & pajama protestor

P.S. Despite my stand against PJs in public, I’m a big supporter of pajamas for dogs (in private, in public, pretty much anywhere):